Dance is a HUGE commitment. I am reminded of this almost EVERY day as one of the other of us takes Elise to the studio. Her ONLY consistent day off (at least at the moment) is Wednesday (and that could change as the year progresses). Dance controls our schedule and has a huge impact on our finances.
We can't go camping after the 3rd/4th week of August, because she will have dance classes or rehearsals on the weekend. She misses some youth group activities, such as the all-afternoon trip to Fort Worden this Sunday because of rehearsals. She misses Girl Scout meetings to attend rehearsals. She even misses church at times, although she almost always can make it to Sunday School. (The only times she misses that is when she oversleeps following a performance the night before.)
I could probably fully fund an IRA account each year with the money we spend on dance and the required clothing and shoes. AND it is ONLY going to get worse. At her current level of dance she is being encouraged to go away for part of the summer to attend Summer Dance Intensives. The less expensive one cost approximately 1.5 times her tuition for a semester of dance, while the more expensive ones are 3+times the tuition for a semester--and that doesn't include travel. We are considering this for next year, but have resisted the pressure to do this so far. I've quietly explained to the powers-that-be that we don't have money in our budget for an intensive and that she has been growing so quickly I don't want to send her away from home for several weeks (where I don't have any control over her diet/sleep schedule) and risk an injury. Just a year ago, one of her fellow dancers returned from a total of 5 weeks away from home at intensives with a stress fracture.
So, why do we support this activity when it limits family time and stresses the budget? What can it possibly teach our sweet girl that could make it worthwhile? She has learned gracefulness through dance, has been learning a bit about budgeting and family finances
Through dance, my girlie has learned a level of gracefulness that she definitely wasn't born with and couldn't possibly inherit from her Mama. She's a bit embarrassed about it probably, but as she was approaching her 5th birthday she was still running into the door jam around her bedroom door several times a week. We've lived in the same house (and same bedroom) since she was 2-1/2! She has become much better at spatial awareness and no longer runs into inanimate objects (or even moving objects such as fellow dancers).
One class a week for a five year old, was eminently doable, however as she has progressed in dance the recommended/required number of classes has increased. One thing I personally have struggled with as we've been on our dance adventure, is that I involved her in a "rich girl" sport. What seemed like a fabulous way to teach her some spatial awareness and give her a fun outlet for her energy years ago, has become a bit of a strain on the pocket book. Several of the girls she dances with participate in other activities like cheer leading and horseback riding. I've had to explain to her ad nauseum, "I'm sorry sweetie, I know you would like to do ____________ like _____________, but we just don't have the money for it. For you to do _________________, you would have to stop dance." I am so very thankful that we live in a very unique community that has a studio that allows her to dance at the level she does, at a price we can afford (even if it is a bit of a stretch).
I've been privy to some information, she isn't necessarily aware of and I've shared it with her. She sees what her friends get to do, but she doesn't know how it is paid for. Many of her friends have families with greater financial resources than we have, but most of the families whose girls are involved in other pricey activities have grandparents who are able to pay for one of these activities. Several of the families who have similar income levels to ours have grandparents who pay at least part of the dance bill. We've talked about the relative cost for her activities vs. Erik's and slowly but surely, she seems to be developing an awareness of money and setting financial priorities and goals. I'm hoping that this will prepare her for the future, as she graduates from college and faces life on her own with a huge list of wants and a goodly list of needs.
She has learned to take corrections and apply it. Wow! How many of us can handle being told, "Nope that's not right, do it again," over and over. I personally don't enjoy hearing that kind of comments. But we've shared with her, what one of her teachers told us that she had been told by a former teacher. The former teacher had related to (this teacher's) class that growing up dancing in the ____________ (professional company's) ballet school, the teachers focused on the dancers who took corrections and in whom they saw potential. No, corrections meant that frankly you weren't worth the teacher's time. Wow, very harsh! But Elise actually enjoys "pick-on-Elise" days when a teacher focuses on her and makes lots of small corrections specific to her. She gets upset and sad when she feels these "pick-on-Elise" days are few and far between. Erik, on the other hand, gets highly bent out of shape when his coaches try to make suggestions to help him improve his skills. Part of this is the difference in their temperaments, but I think part of it can be attributed to the idea of receiving lots of corrections is a back-handed compliment. "You are worth my time and effort." I'm not saying that the teachers at her studio do this, they work with all of the students helping them work to their potential, but a positive attitude regarding these corrections helps.
Obviously there is also a physical fitness component here, too. She is engaged in many hours of exercises and aerobics every week. This by itself certainly isn't a reason to take dance, but it is a nice side benefit. She will slouch just as any teenager will, but she also has learned good posture and how to hold herself.
The result of all of this is a physically fit young lady who can carry herself with pride, who can accept constructive criticism without tears (unless it is coming from Daddy) and who is learning some important lessons in finances and budgeting. Whether her future includes dancing professionally, which is her current goal, she is learning important life skills that will help her down the road.
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